7 YEAR OLD SAD THAT HER GRANDMOTHER PASSED AWAY

QUESTION:  My daughter is 7 and we read your blog and website all of the time.  Her grandmother just passed away.  She wanted me to write to you and ask you if that ever happened to you.  She’s feeling sad sometimes and she wanted to know if things ever get better feeling.  I’m sorry to ask such a difficult question but she really counts on you for answers to her problems.  She told me that you always have good ideas for everything! Thanks so much Alyssa!

ANSWER:  That happened to me before too. It was very sad but it does get better and it will get better soon. Once in a while things happen like that but tell her that it gets better. Tell her it’s OK to feel sad sometimes but it will feel happier again.  Thank you for reading my blog and website and I’m sorry that happen to your family. 

3RD GRADER UPSET WITH KIDS TEASING ABOUT HER NEW GLASSES!

QUESTION: I am in 3^rd grade and I just got glasses.  I thought it would be really fun to have glasses but when I went to school some of the boys were calling me four eyes. I even wore a cute outfit to school because I wanted to look really good with my new glasses but now I feel horrible. When I took them off my teacher told me to put them back on.  I did but I wish I didn’t have to wear them. I don’t know what to say back to them if they say it again.

ANSWER:  You really shouldn’t care what they say.  You were excited about the glasses and if you have them you should like that you have them.  You just should just ignore them at first but if they keep saying it then tell them to stop it.  Ignoring usually works but sometimes it takes a few days of ignoring! Don’t let other kids make you feel bad about your glasses!

KINDERGARTEN GIRL WORRIED ABOUT HER TEACHER BEING MAD.

QUESTION:  Hi Alyssa.  I’m in Kindergarten and everyday my mom and I read your questions.  I’m learning to read so I get to read the words that I know. I got in trouble in school today because I laughed at the boy next to me when he put popcorn in his nose. It was really funny and when my teacher said to stop laughing I had a hard time stopping. My teacher moved my fish to red water.  I never had red before so I started crying. I’m so afraid that my teacher will stay mad at me forever because I was on red. Because we read what you write everyday my mom thought it would be good to ask you if you were ever on red and if you were, what did you do?

ANSWER:  I was never on red but I was on yellow once in Kindergarten and once in second grade. I felt very sad too. Your teacher will definitely not stay mad at you because even in second grade there were a lot of people that went on red and the teacher never stayed mad. Teachers are used to that.

I can understand why you laughed because I would laugh too. Don’t worry because your teacher won’t stay mad!

Thanks for reading every day!

QUESTION FROM A 10 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH SCHOOL & FRIENDS

QUESTION:  Hi!  I am in fifth grade. At my school I don’t understand anything (work and friends)! What do I do? Please reply. Thank you. Bye.

ANSWER:  One of my friends has some trouble learning different things and she goes to tutoring to help her.  Your mom should check into tutoring at your school to help you.  I’m sure it’s hard when you can’t understand anything at school.

If you’re having trouble making friends, you should talk to kids and play with them at recess. If there are things that you’re interested in you could take some after school classes and you’d find friends that like the same thing you do.  You could join Girl Scouts too and make more friends there. Just remember to be nice to other people so they can see what a nice person you are.

There are lots of other kids that have trouble in school and trouble making friends too.  Just keep trying and never give up!

7 YEAR OLD GIRL HAVING PROBLEMS IN BROWNIES

QUESTION: There is a girl in Brownies that’s so mean to everyone.  Her mom is the leader and the kids pretend they like her but they talk about her when she walks away.  I just wish she would stop.  She acts snotty to everyone and thinks she more important than everyone too because her mom is the leader.  I read what you write every day and my mom said that maybe you would have some ideas to help us.  I’m 7.

ANSWER: You could talk to your mom and have the other girls talk to their moms and maybe all of the moms and your mom could have a meeting with the leader. You could also talk to the mean girl and tell her that she is acting kind of rude and that everyone should fit in. Good luck with this.

9 YEAR OLD GIRL NEEDS TO TALK TO HER MOM

QUESTION:  Hi Alyssa, I’m 9 and in 4^th grade. I like reading the answers that you write to kids.  They’re really good!  My problem is my mom wants me to be in everything and I mean everything! I go to drama, singing lessons, dance classes and gymnastics.  I only have off on Friday and Sunday.  I think most of the classes are OK but I absolutely love gymnastics.  I’d rather just come home some days and do nothing.  I know that she pays a lot of money for my classes because she says that.  I appreciate it but I really only want to go to gymnastics.  What do you think I should say to my mom?  I don’t want to hurt her feelings. My sister is 14 and is writing this for me.  She said I should just go to all the classes but I don’t want to anymore.

ANSWER: I’d tell my mom that the only class you really like is gymnastics. Tell her that you appreciate everything that she does for you and all of the money she pays.  Tell her that you kind of like the other classes but it takes up too much of your time.  You shouldn’t have to take so many things if you don’t like to. I know some moms are really good listeners and some moms aren’t as good listeners. I hope your mom listens to you when you talk to her. Tell her it's important.

7 YEAR OLD'S BEST FRIEND MOVED AWAY

QUESTION: I’m 7.  My best friend moved at the beginning of the summer. We were friends from when we were babies so she’s always been with me. We lived on the same street and we played every day of our life. I’m really missing her so much and feel sad about her not being here anymore.  Do you have any ideas on things that I could do to feel happier?

ANSWER: You could try to make a new best friend that lives closer.  At school you might find a friend that you like a lot.  Spend time with them at recess and sit with them at lunch and talk to them. You could join any after school group or any group anywhere and meet some friends there too because that would be fun.

You can still send your best friend letters and pictures so you can keep in touch with her. That’s important because she’ll always be special to you!

QUESTION FROM A 7 YEAR OLD GIRL ABOUT A NEW GIRL BEING MEAN TO HER.

QUESTION: I'm 7 and I’m in 2^nd grade. There is a girl in my class that’s new in our school. She’s kind of mean and calls me and my friend’s names like “dummy” and she calls my friend “fatso”.  I really don’t know what to do. I’m kind of a quiet kid and I don’t usually speak up for myself.

ANSWER:  It’s important to learn to speak up for yourself and your friends too. You can’t just let other people treat you in a mean way.

When kids are new in a school they don’t feel very settled and sometimes don’t know how to make friends. You could try to be her friend and include her.  If that doesn’t work you have to make her stop being mean to you.

 In my school and most every classroom there is a sign that's on the wall.  It says:

1. Ignore

2. Say to the person "please stop".

3. Tell the teacher.

If you do that and it doesn’t work try it again.  Say, “STOP!  Now I’m getting very mad. If you keep doing it I’ll get madder and madder.  Then tell the person “I will tell my mom.  I will tell the teacher and I will tell the office at dismissal.”

I’m sorry that someone is hurting your feelings. Don’t let that keep happening!  I hope this helps you.

PROBLEM AN 11 YEAR OLD GIRL IS HAVING WITH HER DAD CALLING HER NAMES

QUESTION: Dear Alyssa, My dad and I fight all the time. I guess that’s usual for teens/tweens, but I don’t really think so.

Anytime I push him to the edge, he ends up calling me names. Sometimes cuss words, but mostly “fat” and “ugly”.

 I don’t know what to do; I feel like I really am what he calls me. I have very low self-esteem, and he is making only harder for me.

ANSWER: Have you talked to your mom and told her that the names that your dad calls you hurt a lot?  Ask your mom to tell your dad that you don’t like it and he should stop.

You could talk to the counselor or your teacher at school if you need more people to talk to and if nobody at home is listening.

No one has the right to call you names, especially your father! You can’t let his words ruin your life.

You’re doing a very good thing by helping other people with your website.  That’s how you should think of yourself because of all the good you do! And there are probably plenty more good things you do! You have to think about that and not what he says to you! Believe in you!