Question from a Kindegartener

QUESTION: I’m in Kindergarten and having a hard time drawing pictures. 
The girl that sits next to me draws so pretty.  I’ll not very good at writing either.  I’ll never be as good as her.

ANSWER: I have a friend that draws better than me too.  I have another friend who can’t write as well as me. Everyone is good at different things.  You probably have a talent that you friend wishes that they could have too. Everyone should be proud of the talents they have. The more you draw and the more you write, the better you’ll get. (Practice makes perfect!)

QUESTION: From a girl whose bff is getting bullied.

QUESTION:  There is a girl at school that always picks on my bff.  I feel bad for her but don’t think I should say anything to the mean girl.  My mom says I should say something to the mean girl.  What do you think?

ANSWER:  I think you should say something to the mean girl especially if it’s your best friend she’s picking on.  You should stand up for all people no matter who they are. You should say, “Stop being mean to her.  She’s my best friend and she’s a person, you know!”  OR “Stop picking on her. It’s mean to pick on anybody.  YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT!”  I hope this helps you help your friend.

Question from the Aunt of a 12 year old girl.

QUESTION:  Hi Alyssa, I have a 12 year old niece who does things/ chores super slow... She actually stays in the shower for almost an hour. Sometimes she can't finish her homework because she doesn't have enough time...

I actually refrain from helping her to do her task because I want her to learn how to be independent. What other ways can I do to help her or what ways can I do to change her attitude?

ANSWER:  If she’s too slow, I would have a timer to show her long it really is taking her to do something.  If she wants to do something fun, you could tell her to do her homework first and then let her earn time, like 15 minutes to do something fun.  Each day she does better, keep adding time so she’ll have the time to do things that she wants. 

If she doesn’t do chores in the right amount of time, you should take something away from her.  You could also get workbooks for her to do.  She would also have to do the work in there before earning time for fun.  That way she gets time taken away from things that she wants to do so she may start doing what you ask her to do. If she does good, she can earn time.  If she doesn’t she gets things taken away and loses time from the fun things that she wants to do.

Thanks for writing to me!  I hope this helps!!

Question from a 7 year old. No one to play with on the playground.

QUESTION: I’m 7.  I was crying on the playground today because the kids I wanted to play with on the playground wouldn’t let me.  Mom said tomorrow will be better but that didn’t help.  No one understands how I feel.  Maybe they won’t let me play again tomorrow.

ANSWER:  Sometimes people say the games they are playing only have a certain amount of players.  So maybe that’s why you couldn’t play.  The first thing tomorrow morning when you get in school, ask the person you want to play with, “Can I play with you at recess?”  Then at lunch or other time that you have free times in school, ask again! That will give you a better chance tomorrow.  Good luck!

Question from a 3rd grader about being smarter than her friend.

QUESTION:  I’m in 3^rd grade and I’m really smart.  I’m not saying it to sound like a bragger but because it’s part of my problem.  I really love school, love to learn and love to read.  My problem is that my best friend isn’t smart.  I don’t care about that at all but now she’s saying things like, “I’ll never be as smart like you” and “You always have the answers.”  She’s not saying it in a mean way but she sounds a little sad about it.  I’m thinking about trying to be different and maybe not getting good grades now.  I don’t want to lose my best friend!

ANSWER:  You shouldn’t try not to get good grades anymore!  Some people are just smart and some people may not be as smart.  Tell her it’s OK to be who you are.    Everyone is different but is always special. Everyone is special for who they are.  Just be yourself!

QUESTION: From a 2nd grader about her dad yelling!

My father yells all the time.  He yells about everything.  My mom doesn’t yell at all and she’s really nice to me. I don’t know how to get my dad to stop.  I’m kinda used to it but I still wish he would be nicer.

ANSWER: I’d talk to my dad and tell my mom to talk to him about how you feel. If it's scary tell him that.  If it's sad, tell him that. It’s really hard to make an adult change but I hope that he REALLY listens.  It must be hard for you.  I’m really sorry.